


Chasing the Fault Line

by lovekame02



Category: KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 03:46:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17015085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovekame02/pseuds/lovekame02
Summary: A love that blossomed in the most unexpected situation.





	Chasing the Fault Line

**Author's Note:**

> Written for kaminikaku during pt_pirates 2018 Hide and Seek Exchange.

Kazuya was currently at his office looking through his patients' files thinking he should put them in an order because everything was a mess. A lot of these files were from patients who had stopped coming either because they were cured or because in their opinion he wasn't doing a good job treating them and they wanted to find someone else, which was upsetting but there wasn't much he could given that it was their choice.

  


He should definitely do some cleaning sooner or later –most of his desk was covered with papers, folders, books and other miscellaneous things, there would be no more room left if this continued. He didn't have a secretary and he wasn't planning to get one any time soon. He preferred to work alone without anyone disturbing him as it was helping his patients to open up and speak more comfortably when they were alone.

  


At the moment he was going through this week's appointments and it seemed like it was going to be an easy one. He didn't have tough cases to deal with, most of them were with people who just wanted to hear some encouraging words and someone to talk to about whatever was happening in their life good or bad. More importantly they wanted to be reassured that no matter what physical disability they had they didn't cease to be humans like everyone else and they had every right in life.

  


If there was someone else in his place they would probably not bother with people like them thinking it was waste of time to even listen to them. But Kazuya knew since he was a small kid what meant to not have anyone to take care of you and that's why he decided growing up he would help the ones who were in need, especially those who were different.

  


In the end he chose to be a psychologist majoring in people with disabilities. His work was making him feel complete even though sometimes he felt like there was something missing from his life.

  


Lost in his thoughts he got up from his chair and stood in window. He mindlessly watched the clouds forming in the sky and their weird patterns, sometimes they looked like cute bunnies and other times like a raging dragon burning everything in his path. It was some kind of a hobby for him to observe the clouds moving along with the wind and not knowing where it will take them.

  


The annoying ringing of his phone brought him back into reality.

  


“Hello? Yes that's me, what can I do for you?” he sat down on his chair again. Kame took his forgotten notebook out of the pile of papers and started scribbling something as he listened to the other person. “I see. And what kind of disability he has? Of course I will accept him. I will come over tomorrow to see him and evaluate his situation. Thank you too, bye.”

  


From the little he had heard during the phone call he knew he had to deal with a special case. The man needed him and Kazuya would ensure that he'd do everything he could to help him. Nonetheless he could shake off that feeling that it would be different and more difficult.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Indeed the man would make Kazuya's life difficult with his constant denial to accept any kind of help from a stranger. Being stubborn like a mole he believed only his own self would either making him stand up or immerse even more into the darkness. What he didn't know was that Kazuya was extremely stubborn as well and had no intention of giving up on him, instead he would eventually be his shadow following him on every step.

  
  


-oOo-

 

  


Jin had gotten tired of hearing the soothing voice of his physiotherapist telling to raise his legs as him to raise his legs as higher as he could. Legs... would they be considered as such given now that his right one was completely useless and without any chances of recovering? Regardless of what the doctors kept saying to him.

  


Sometimes he thought it would have been better if he had died back then, than being in this state, half of person. Because that's how he was thinking of himself, a half person, a half man. Who would ever turn to like at him?

  


Even the nurses who were taking care of him looked at him with disgust written in their faces. They were trying to hide it but Jin knew better, he could looked behind the mask of gentleness they had and their fakes smiles. He knew if they had a choice they wouldn't bother with him.

  


He tried to focus on the exercises but it was hard for him. He still couldn't move his leg as much, not because it was hurting him, most of the pain was gone now thanks to all the medication he was taking. He couldn't make himself face that part of him that was missing. He hated the idea of bringing his leg into his view. He was certain he would collapse.

  


“Why don't you try to lift your leg a bit more?”

  


“I can't,” Jin said dryly to his physiotherapist.

  


“You can't or you don't want to?” The older man glared him. “I know Jin you are not hurting.”

  


“Fine!” he yelled. “I don't want to! Happy now?”

  


“Actually yes. Admitting that is the first step to rehabilitation. Don't want you to walk again Jin?”

  


“I want to but...” Jin sighed deeply.

  
  


“There are no 'buts' Jin. You either go for it or not. I have seen worst cases than yours and you know what?” the man paused for moment and looked Jin in the eyes, “not a single one of them gave up. They fought hard and won. Don't allow your disability to bring you down.”

  


“I'm not like them.”

  


“I will tell you something and I'm going to say it only once. Nothing is impossible as long as you don't give up. With a little more effort everything will be back to normal again. You'll see, in the end your problem won't be visible. There will be some limping but nothing too noticeable.”

  


Jin didn't say anything more, he knew the other was somehow right. Why was he giving up? He had nothing else to lose anymore. Shouldn't he move forward? And show to those who looked down on him, to his so called friends who disappeared when he needed them, what he was made of.

  


He thought everything was perfect, his life was perfect, he had his friends, his girlfriend. How wrong he was.

  


He would never forget the day his girlfriend came to visit him at the hospital and told him she was breaking up with him because she had found another man. He would never forget how he felt when he was lying on the bed helplessly, unable to move while he was in extreme pain and she simply walked away.

  


The words she told him would haunt his mind forever.

  


“ _Did you really believe I actually loved you? Really?” she laughed, “you are stupid, you think the whole world revolves around you. Look at yourself now, look how pathetic you are.”_

  


“ _I was with you for fun. I know you had plans for us but how could you possibly think I'd marry you? Especially now that you are a cripple?” She point on his leg wrapped in gauzes until the knee, there was nothing else beneath._  


She left him like that, without looking back at him. All Jin could do was watch her leaving while his heart was breaking into a millions piece and his whole world falling apart. He thought he could pull through this with her help and love but no. She was right about one thing though. He was indeed stupid, so stupid he believed true love existed.

  


At that moment he decided to piece the broken pieces together and seal his heart so that no else will hurt him again. He didn't shed tears for her, she wasn't worth them. He had more serious things to deal with from now. He swore to never make the same mistake again, love was for the fools.

  


For Jin the word starting with the letter ‘L’ stopped existing in his vocabulary.

  
  
  


Jin's downfall started the day of the break up, he tried to not show it. Those though who saw him could tell that in front of them there was a broken human being who was suffering from something deep.

  


His smile was gone and he had become a completely different person, cold to everyone. He snapped at everything and everyone, the nurses and to the doctor who was currently in charge of him. The only one with whom he didn't dare to disagree was his physiotherapist, a middle aged man who showed him early he was not going to accept this kind of behavior.

  
  


Finding out his ex was going to marry his once best friend was the last straw. Things got only worst. He started losing weight each passing day and he couldn't even stand on his good leg from the weakness. Even the physiotherapist was fed up with and did everything he could to snap him out of it as he thought it was a pity for such a young man to be wasted for a woman.

  


Jin was languished. He was walking on a destructive path of and none was there to show him the right way. He had given up, accepting nothing was going to change.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


The nurses' complains Dr. Yamada was getting were too much for him. Never in his career had he encountered such an incident, sure he had seen all kinds of accidents but most of these patients were recovering quick from the shock of losing a part of their body. That wasn't happening with Jin, he had reached his limits with his resignation to recover.

  


Of course he understood that he had been through a lot, the news of his girlfriend leaving him flew fast among the hospital’s staff, but rather than giving him strength it had exactly the opposite effect. Dr. Yamada should really think of something soon before Jin decide to do something stupid to relieve himself from both the emotional and psychical pain.

 

His first thought was to call that psychologist for whom he had read a lot about in both newspapers and articles online.

 

They all said he was doing a good job and they were satisfied though there were some who had the opposite opinion. In this phase he believed that given with the situation the only one who could help Jin was that man who knew exactly how to deal with him and perhaps it was the only hope for Jin to fight and win.

  


Definitely this was the best solution for Jin, enough time had been lost. There were other patients waiting for him and he couldn't focus exclusively on Jin. He would call the man today and book an appointment as soon as possible.

  


Satisfied with himself he called the specialist and then asked a nurse to bring in Jin.

  


“There's no way I will meet a shrink!”

  


Of course Jin would oppose him.

  


“You didn't understand me I guess. You don't have a choice. You WILL meet him. Even if i have to drag you myself in front of him.”

  


“But...”

  


“As long as you are in this hospital you will do what I say. Understood?”

  


“Yes sir,” Jin knew there's no point trying to argue with the doctor.

  


“Good. Kamenashi-san will come tomorrow, you can leave me now,” he said as he nodded to the nurse who was behind Jin's wheelchair to take him back. One less thing to worry about now.

  


It was unbelievable to Jin that he had agreed to be seen by a shrink as if he was crazy –he wasn’t, he still had his sanity. He felt so powerless, there was nothing he could do to avoid this situation, he had to depended on others. But what if? The sooner he was gone from this place, the sooner he would be free. First though he had to gain strength and learn how to walk anew with the addition of the prosthetic leg.

  
  


Once he had accomplished his goal he would disappear –somewhere far away where nobody could find him. It sounded like a good plan, yet he had a long way ahead of him to make it happen.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Kazuya was looking forward to meet his new patient and start the therapy as fast as possible. Something had caught his attention and he couldn't figure out what or why. Soon though he would discover that the man he accepted to help was going to make his life –or work, more difficult than he expected, to the pointed of him cursing the day he accepted to help him.

  


Jin was going to make sure to he didn't want him anywhere near him. Well if Jin was stubborn once, Kazuya would be thrice as much.

  


Kazuya examined himself at the mirror once more making sure his tie was straight and his shirt didn't have any wrinkles. He smiled at his reflection and walked out of the door. He was ready for the first visit.

  


During the drive to the hospital he put on some soft music trying to relax a bit because truth to be said he was getting anxious. It was normal for him to get nervous every time he met someone new, he made sure not to show it. He wanted to be relaxed so that the other person would feel at ease and open up to him.

  


So he concentrated on his favorite song and at some point he started to sign along. When he arrived at his destination his nervousness was all gone and he couldn't wait to meet Jin. He walked confidently inside and greeted the head nurse before asking her where was Dr. Yamada –the one who talked to the phone with. She gladly took him to the office with a big smile on her face as if she knew the reason why he was here, after all it was common secret the problems Jin was causing.

  
  


“Thank you for coming so soon Kamenashi.” The two men shock their hands.

  


“It's my pleasure. I'm always happy to help those in needs.”

  


“Can I offer you something to drink? Coffee? Juice?”

  


“No, thank you. I'd prefer it if we started talking about the patient,” Kazuya took his notebook and pen out of his bag.

  


“Straight to the point I see.”

  


“Always doctor. The sooner I begin, the better will be for him. Additionally I have a lot of other patients so I'm tight on time.”

  


“Of course. What more do you want to know? I believe I told you everything on the phone, didn't I?”

  


“Sure you did. You said he's creating problems to the hospital with his disability.”

  


“And isn't this enough? You are supposed to be the specialist,” he gave Kazuya a disapproving look.

 

“Okay I will make something clear to you so that we'll avoid misunderstandings in the future. Just like I don't interfere with your work, I don't want you to interfere with mine. What I need to know and what I don't it's up to me to decide,” Kazuya raised his hand to stop the other from talking, “now what I must know is if something happened to him, beside the accident of course.”

  


“You do realize I'm bound with patient confidentiality right? I can’t share private information.”

  


“Oh yes I’m pretty aware of that. I don't want to know any details. Just a simple yes or no would do.”

  


“It’s against my principles.”

  


Kazuya was starting to get angry with the doctor's attitude, he seemed to be the type of person who thought they were above everyone else. It wasn't his first time someone was looking down on him, still he was getting annoyed. Dr. Yamada had done what he could to heal Jin's physical injuries and now it was Kazuya's turn.

  


“I could very easily ask the nice lady who brought me here. I assume she'd tell me what I need to know. Though that could get you in trouble, right? Hospital staff knowing things they shouldn't.”

  


“Very well. Indeed something happened a couple days after he had woken up from the accident.”

  


“See? It wasn't that hard,” Kazuya smiled at him, satisfied.

  


“Is this enough for you? Or you need more?”

  


“Yes, that's good enough for me. Now, will you take to the patient's room? I've wasted enough time here talking to you,” Kazuya got up from the chair and waited for the other to do the same.

  


They headed to Jin's room without talking to each other. Mainly because Yamada decided he didn't like Kazuya at all, he knew from the moment the young man walked inside his office he meant trouble. It was all Jin's fault and he couldn't wait to send him away from the hospital.

  
  


Jin had just finished with his lunch –an awfully tasting chicken soup and a pudding for dessert, when Yamada walked in the room with Kazuya behind him.

  


“Good evening Jin,” the older man greeted him. “This is Kamenashi Kazuya, the specialist I talked to you about.”

  


“Hello Jin. Pleased to meet you,” Kazuya smiled politely and extended his hand to greet him.

  


Jin eyed warily as he shook his hand. He had expected to see an old greasy white-haired man. He was pleasantly surprised, admittedly, to see this young man standing in front of him. Perhaps it wouldn't be too bad with him.

  


“Okay, I will leave you two alone now. You have an hour Kamenashi before Jin goes to do his daily exercises. And you Jin,” Yamada turned to him, “you better not start misbehaving again or else I will kick you out of here.”

  


“You can't do that doc.”

  


“Oh believe me, I can.”

  


“Weren't you leaving doctor Yamada?” Kazuya thought it'd be better to interfere before things escalated. He'd much prefer it if Jin wasn't angry when he'd be talking with him.

  


“Yes right. I'll keep an eye on you Jin,” he warned him one last time before walking out of the room.

  


“Gosh, I hate him! I told him I didn't want to see a shrink. But no, he forced me to do it and now... “ Jin trailed off taking a deep breath to calm down.

  


“Well I don't like him either to tell you the truth.”

  


“Really?” He looked Kazuya suspiciously.

  


“He seems to be the type of person you likes to order people around and lashes at whoever dares to disobey him.”

  
  


They looked at each other silently for a moment before Jin bursted into laughing. He hadn't expected Kazuya would have form that kind of opinion for Yamada, then again given his occupation he must be good at reading people, which might make it difficult for Jin to hide his intentions of leaving but he'd work on it.

  


Kazuya was moderately hopeful that Jin was able to laugh, it meant Jin had still some fight in him even if he pretended to have given up. He still had a long way to go if he wanted to truly help Jin.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Weeks passed quickly and Jin was making a good progress in his physiotherapy, he was doing his exercises without a single complain much to his physiotherapist's surprise –not that he was complaining, he was happy to see Jin finally cooperate with him and do everything he told him to do so. He was also eating well and took his meds regularly. Even his attitude towards the nurses had changed, he didn't snap at them like he used to do before, he was always polite.

  


The change didn't go unnoticed of course, everyone was talking about it and Yamada was all but happy about it, mainly because it wasn't thanks to him. No, it was due to Kamenashi Kazuya, he was the one everyone credited for Jin. Perhaps he shouldn't have called him back then, he should have send Jin to a different hospital instead.

  


On the other hand Kazuya was satisfied with Jin. He was doing better now than when he first met him. He was not completely healed yet, both physically and mentally, but he was on the right path. It'd be a matter of time before Jin would be able to leave the hospital and start his life again.

  


Of course Jin leaving didn't mean he'd stop seeing Kazuya, he'd continue going to his office for his sessions. At least that's what Kazuya thought Jin would do. Though Jin had other plans.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Jin was growing restless, his original plan of getting out and going somewhere far, far away had to be postponed for the time being. He thought he'd able to go if he showed improvement and yet he was wrong. And the reason was none other than Kazuya. That man had changed everything.

  


Why did he have to be young and beautiful? Why wasn't he an ugly old man? And most importantly, why was he attracted to him? He'd swore to never love again. Not after everything, he didn't want his heart to be broken once again. He had to leave as soon as possible, even if that meant he'd have to force Yamada to discharge him from the hospital.

  


-oOo-

  
  
  


“Do you have a dream place where you want to live till the end of your life?”

  


It was another of Kazuya's regular visits and the two men were casually chatting. If a passer by heard them they'd think they were close friends and not a doctor and a patient.

  


“Well...” Jin paused for a bit thinking. “There is a place but it will probably sound stupid to you.”

  


“No it won't. Tell me, I promise I won't steal it from you.”

  


“Ok I want to live in a house on a remote beach or better in an island where no one else lives. I'd love to be near the ocean and away from civilization if possible.”

  


“That sounds perfect to me,” Kazuya smiled gently.

  
  
  


-oOo-

  
  
  


Today was the day Jin would execute his new plan and he was a bit nervous. Everything had to be perfect in order for Kazuya not to notice his lie.

  


“Isn’t it tiring?” Jin became more serious all the sudden. They had been talking about random things, for example what food Jin had missed the most and wanted to have once he left the hospital, when he asked this.

  
  


“What do you mean?”

  


“Acting like you care. Doesn’t it tire you?”

  


“Who said said I’m acting Jin?”

  


“Oh come on,” Jin rolled his eyes, “you don’t have to lie. It’s just the two of us.”

  


“No Jin, I’m not lying. Why are you thinking that I’m acting?” Kazuya looked at him utterly confused. He didn’t understand what had gotten into Jin just now.

  


“Yeah right. Aren’t you trained to do that? Isn’t it basically your job to show your patients you care and have them trust you?”

  


“I think you misunderstood something here Jin. I will never…”

  


“I’m not stupid,” Jin cut him off. “I might be hurt but my mind is perfectly fine. I know you are lying. There’s no way someone like you will care about someone like me.”

  


“Don’t do this to your self Jin. There’s nothing wrong with you.” Kazuya didn’t like how this conversation had turned out.

  


“Really?! How about this then?” Jin threw the covers off the bed and point his leg. “How, in your humble opinion, does this count as normal? In case you didn’t notice I’m missing half of my leg here.”

  


“And that doesn’t make you any less of a person. Jin,” Kazuya sighed, “we have talked about this a lot. You are perfect as you are. Don’t think otherwise, please.”

  


“Stop… just stop.”

  


“You have to listen to me Jin. We have been through this before. I know you are in pain, emotional pain. You can’t allow your disability to bring you down, you have made such an improvement, it’d be a pity to waste it. You…”

  


“Jesus, didn’t I tell you to stop?!”

  


“Jin…”

  


“GET OUT!” Jin roared, he wanted Kazuya out. Out of the room and out of his life.

  


“I’m disappointed, I really am Jin.”

  


“Good, now leave.”

  


“Fine, I will back tomorrow and in the meantime I want you to think carefully of what you said today, we will discuss it tomorrow,” Kazuya got up, “I’ll see you then.”

  


He could see that Jin wasn’t going to calm down if he didn’t leave him alone and the last thing Kazuya wanted now was Yamada storming in the room and possibly sedating Jin just in case. Truth to be said he had expected an outburst from Jin at some point, it was very common in this kind of situations and Kazuya knew how to handle it. He’d give Jin first some time to think and then they’d talk about it the next day.

  


Little did Kazuya knew, Jin had other plans.

  
  


-oOo-

 

  
  


“Are you sure about this?” Yamada had finished checking up a patient of his when Jin came in and asked to talk to him. He thought to refuse at first, he changed his mind when he saw Jin’s serious expression.

  


“Yes I am.”

  


“You are aware you haven’t completed all your physiotherapy right?” Jin nodded. “And you insist you want to leave?”

  


“That’s correct.”

  


“Normally I would advise you against leaving but…”

  


“But you never really liked me,” Jin laughed seeing the surprised look on the doctor’s face. “What? You thought I didn’t notice?”

  


“Liking you or not doesn’t mean anything. I’m a doctor above everything else and I, at least, have to try and pursue you otherwise.”

  


“I appreciate your concern, you can’t change my mind. It’s not like I can’t continue with my therapy elsewhere.”

  


“If that’s what you truly want then fine. I will sign the papers.”

  


“Thank you doc.”

  


“I have a question though. What are you going to do with Kamenashi?” Jin was just about to leave when he asked him that and he froze on his spot.

  


“What about him?” He looked at him pretending to be confused.

  


“Did you tell him you’d be gone?”

  


“No I didn’t.”

  


“Then are you going to continue seeing him at his office?” Jin shook his head. “Aren’t you two close?”

  


“Seriously that’s none of your business.Just signed the darn papers and let me be.”

  
  
  


Kazuya couldn’t believe how stupid he had been. How could he not figure out that Jin was putting an act? He had been with him long enough to be able to read him like an open book, to be able to tell when he was lying by the way his right eye subtly twitched every time he attempted to lie. Or so he had thought because Jin was gone now.

  


He had been beyond surprised and actually mad when he walked into Jin’s room only to find the bed empty and clean. At first he thought he was with the physiotherapist so he went there only to be told he didn’t go. He had to ask the head nurse if she knew anything and she told him he had been discharged.

  


But why? He still had a few weeks ahead, why did he leave? There had to be a reason and Kazuya was determined to find it out or to be more precise find Jin and demand an explanation from him.

  
  


Thus he began his search for Jin. It wasn’t going to be an easy one as Jin had made sure to literally disappear from the face of this Earth. Kazuya though was very stubborn, if he wanted something he’d get it as long as he had the patience.

  


He thought of the worst in the beginning, that Jin had done something stupid. He kept a close eye on the news, both on the tv and online, and only after he was sure that nothing had happened he was able to relax. He just needed to search more carefully and for that he had to ask for help. He was lucky enough to know the right people to help him when he himself couldn’t do very much.

  


One might wonder why was he doing this. Why was he getting in all this trouble? He was just another patient who decided Kazuya wasn’t for him. So why didn’t he give up and continue on with his life?  Well Kazuya had tried and had failed. He couldn’t get Jin out of his mind. He had fallen deeply for Jin, he wasn’t sure of how and when but yes he was in love with Jin and he had to find him and tell him directly how he felt.

  
  
  
  


Jin was watching the sun as it slowly sunk into the sea painting the blue sky and its clouds with beautiful orange and purple colors. It’s been a long time since he had felt this peaceful, this free without anything and anyone bothering him. He had time to think how he wanted to live his life. He first had to learn how to love himself.

  


That’s why he decided to come here away from everything and everyone. He had randomly seen a day before his staged fight with Kazuya an advertisement of a house in a secluded beach being sold on a very low, affordable for him, price so he bought it without thinking twice. It was the perfect place for him and Kazuya would never be able to find him.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  
  


“I found you!” Jin stood there dumbfounded not knowing if he was daydreaming or not. He was about to head at the porch outside when he opened the door and saw a heavy breathing,sweaty Kazuya in front of him.

  


“Whaa---t? Ho---w?”

  


Kazuya didn’t answer, he grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him forward kissing him. Jin whimpered in surprise. There was Kazuya with his lips touching his with a little bit of pressure, hesitant that Jin would shove him off and punch him in the face.

 

Nothing had prepared Jin for this, yet it somehow felt right, warm and right and everything Jin had ever wanted.

 

Kazuya sighed in contentment, happy that Jin wasn’t pushing him away. He had dreamed of kissing Jin from the moment he realized his need for finding Jin had nothing to do with him being simply concerned for him. No it was something deeper than this.

 

Jin moaned and let Kazuya lead the kiss, he wrapped his hands around Kazuya’s waist and pulled him closer to feel him better.

  


They stayed like this for a while, kissing at the front door of Jin’s house. It was a good thing that it was isolated from the rest of the world, despite being a pain in the butt for Kazuya to find it. Not that it mattered now, he had Jin in his arms and that’s all he needed.

  
  
  


The day grew into the dusk welcoming the two lovers now nested into the bed with Jin lying with his head on top Kazuya’s chest and listening his heartbeat while Kazuya was absentmindedly playing with Jin’s long hair twirling it in his fingers, how did they end here was a mystery to both of them.  

  


They had gone for a walk at the beach, Jin insisted on showing Kazuya how good he could walk with his prosthetic leg. And now they were completely wasted in Jin’s bed after taking turns in making love again and again as if each time would be their last one. They learned how to please other with soft touches of mouth and hands, two bodies becoming one at last.

  


Time had paused letting them enjoy this special moment.

  


No words were needed, for their union conveyed unspoken words and promises of an everlasting love. A love that came to them in the most unexpected way.


End file.
